Joke Thread

[joyjoy]

Polish Joke - Two Poles are talking about their friend who immigrated to America. "Did you hear about Bartek? He opened up a jewellery store after just one year in America!" "How did he do that?" "With a crowbar."

imba Bart but this is awsome check, maybe you know it or know shorter version, but still.... :DDD

A: Do you speak english ?
B: Yes!
A: Name?
B: Abdul al-Rhazib.
A: Sex?
B: Three to five times a week.
A: No, no... I mean male or female?
B: Yes, male, female, sometimes camel.
A: Holy cow!
B: Yes, cow, sheep, animals in general.
A: But isn't that hostile?
B: Horse style, doggy style, any style!
A: Oh dear!
B: No, no! Deer run too fast...

[Tupac Shakur]

A: Do you speak english ?
B: Yes!
A: Name?
B: Abdul al-Rhazib.
A: Sex?
B: Three to five times a week.
A: No, no... I mean male or female?
B: Yes, male, female, sometimes camel.
A: Holy cow!
B: Yes, cow, sheep, animals in general.
A: But isn't that hostile?
B: Horse style, doggy style, any style!
A: Oh dear!
B: No, no! Deer run too fast...

loooooool
+1

[Astaroth]

Rofl, I knew shortened version of this joke that ended with "...sometimes camel."
 

[Astaroth]

The hardest question at exams on university: "Name of your lecturer?"

[Bart]

why closed ?

One day an employee came in to work with both of his ears bandaged.
When his boss asked him what happened, he explained:

"Yesterday I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang
and I accidentally answered the iron instead of the phone!"

"Well," the boss said, "that explains one ear, but what
about the other?" "They called back!"

[baja_cro]

Five Englishmen boarded a train just behind five Scots, who, as a group had only purchased one ticket. Just before the conductor came through, all the Scots piled into the toilet stall at the back of the car. As the conductor passed the stall, he knocked and called"Tickets, please!" and one of the Scots slid a ticket under the door. It was punched, pushed back under the door, and when it was safe all the Scots came out and took their seats. The Englishmen were tremendously impressed by the Scots' ingenuity. On the trip back, the five Englishmen decided to try this themselves and purchased only one ticket. They noticed that, oddly, the Scots had not purchased any tickets this time. Anyway, again, just before the conductor came through, the Scots piled into one of the toilet stalls, the Englishmen into the other. Then one of the Scots leaned out, knocked on the Englishmen's stall and called "Ticket, Please!" When the ticket slid out under the door, he picked it up and quickly closed the door

[vaikiss]

epic win

[Natura Sonoris]

Nice one bajo

Btw sticked

[bubuljmilos]

Polish Joke - Two Poles are talking about their friend who immigrated to America. "Did you hear about Bartek? He opened up a jewellery store after just one year in America!" "How did he do that?" "With a crowbar."

imba Bart but this is awsome check, maybe you know it or know shorter version, but still.... :DDD

A: Do you speak english ?
B: Yes!
A: Name?
B: Abdul al-Rhazib.
A: Sex?
B: Three to five times a week.
A: No, no... I mean male or female?
B: Yes, male, female, sometimes camel.
A: Holy cow!
B: Yes, cow, sheep, animals in general.
A: But isn't that hostile?
B: Horse style, doggy style, any style!
A: Oh dear!
B: No, no! Deer run too fast...

hahaha ROFL, "no deer,he runs to fast " hahahaha

[FU I am PeNGuiN]

One day an Indian boy asked his father why they have such long names? The dad answers, "Well son whenever a Indian baby is born the father would go outside and name the baby after the first thing he sees... Why do you ask Two Dogs Fucking?

[Astaroth]

If I download a movie in Jamaica, am I a pirate of the Caribbean?

[donjacrtasamir]

If I download a movie in Jamaica, am I a pirate of the Caribbean?

O.O omg



:p

[Astaroth]

Skinhead-father teaches his young son:
"Look at this photo. This guy with long hair and colorful clothes is hippie. They don't wanna fight and they can not fight, easy prey."
*Next photo*
"On this photo you can see guy in weird clothes with some metal stuff, badges and colorful hair, he is punker. They wanna fight but they can't fight properly so it is easy quite prey if there aren't many of them."
*Next photo*
"This long haired guy in black is metalhead. They don't wanna fight but they can, avoid them."
*Next photo*
"On last photo you can see a guy with long hair with colorful clothes. This is musketeer. You MUST NEVER commute him with hippie..."

[devilwithin]

the girl came home with her boyfriend and she said to her mother."Mom we are going to my room now.Dont disturb us".after a while her mother listen some voices from the room and their was like  ''oh yeah baby baby baby'' then her mother rush in the room and she said."Ouf...u having sex?I thought u were listening Justin Bieber.^^ ^^

[Tupac Shakur]

the girl came home with her boyfriend and she said to her mother."Mom we are going to my room now.Dont disturb us".after a while her mother listen some voices from the room and their was like  ''oh yeah baby baby baby'' then her mother rush in the room and she said."Ouf...u having sex?I thought u were listening Justin Bieber.^^ ^^

lolololololololololol +1 man