Joke Thread

[End]

Found on facebook

Stopping the microwave at 0:01 because you're a bomb defuse expert.

Not really funny but kinda cool

[SaintKnight]

Today I heard the most racist joke ever:
What's the similarity between racism and gypsies? They both shouldn't exist! XD
another one:
I hate two things... racism and gypsies

[Vector]

Lemme try again...


How to get rid of an annoying person sitting next to you in airplane?

1) Open your laptop
2) Make sure he's looking at your screen
3) click this link http://www.thecleverest.com/countdown.swf

your Lemme try again is confirmed nice 1

[joyjoy]

Found on facebook

Stopping the microwave at 0:01 because you're a bomb defuse expert.

Not really funny but kinda cool

hehe

and here some about EU crysis, dont take it as insult plz theres a lot of jokes about each country nowadays

Greek, Portuguese and Irishman go to pub for beer, whos paying? German 

and this one

How many of Ministers of Finance are needed to change the lightball? None, cause theres any problem with lightballs

[SaintKnight]

A bulgarian, a russian, an american and a gipsy are in a small boat in the middle of an ocean after their ship sinks. There is space for only 3 people so one of them must go. The bulgarian said:
- Let's throw the gipsy into the water!!!
Then the russian said:
- No, no that's too racist. Since this boat is mine, I will ask each one of you a question. If you answer correctly, you stay on the boat. If not, you swim with the fishes.
The russian asked the american:
- Who won World War 2?
The american said:
- Russia of course!
- Correct!
Then the russian asked the bulgarian:
- How many russian soldiers died in World War 2?
- 20 million.
- Correct!
Then the russian asked the gipsy:
- Ok, what are the names and adresses of the russian soldiers who died in the war???

[reactionxxx]

Only for metal people

Greece sells, but who's buying?

[joyjoy]

To the saloon comes one cowboy and throw up a coin to the air, shot it with gun and say: Im Johnny, barman gives him for that free drink.
then second cowboy comes to room and throw up tree coins in the air, shot all of them and says: Im Donny, barman again gives free drink.
Last comes next cowboy to saloon, throw up in the air banknote and shots barman and then says: Im sorry :DDD

and some short

Chu, Du and Fu move from China to America, but on borders they find out that they need to change their names so Chu is Chuck, Du is Duck and Fu returned to Chine 

[SaintKnight]

Chu, Du and Fu move from China to America, but on borders they find out that they need to change their names so Chu is Chuck, Du is Duck and Fu returned to Chine 

hahahah nice one 

[Bart]

Chu, Du and Fu move from China to America, but on borders they find out that they need to change their names so Chu is Chuck, Du is Duck and Fu returned to Chine 

hahahah nice one 

haha good one

[dRagoLjuB]

Die Polizei hält ein Auto an: “Herzlichen Glückwunsch, Sie haben 1.000 Euro gewonnen, weil Sie der 1.000 Autofahrer auf dieser Brücke sind – Was machen Sie mit dem Geld?” – “Also erstmal den Führerschein”, meint der Fahrer. Seine Frau: “Glauben Sie dem nichts, der redet immer seltsames Zeug, wenn er betrunken ist.” Der Opa von hinten ruft “Seht Ihr, ich hab Euch ja gesagt, dass wir mit der geklauten Karre nicht weit kommen!”

A policeman stops a car and tells the driver "Congratz. you have won 1k € because you are the 1000th driver which drives on this bridge. What will you do with that money ? "Okay at first i ll buy me a driver license" His woman says "He is always speaking such a shit when he is drunk" and the grandpa "YOu see it?Like i told you , we wont come far away with this stolen car"

XDDD

[NijeHtelo]

Chu, Du and Fu move from China to America, but on borders they find out that they need to change their names so Chu is Chuck, Du is Duck and Fu returned to Chine 

hahahah nice one 

haha good one

xD

[End]

Few about women

Guy is robbing a bank and he took all the money he could carry and on his way our he ask a random guy;
Did you saw my face? Guy replies with "Yes, I did" and robber kills him.
Then robber ask another guy, "Did you saw my face"
Guy replies with "No, I didn't, but my wife did"

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Women got caught stealing canned pineapples so she had to go see the judge.
Judge: How many pineapples was in can?
Women: 6, your honor.
Judge: Then you will go in prison for 6 days!
Her husband who came for support says; She also stole a can of peas!

----------------------------------------------------------

I translated this so don't mind if there are some mistakes

[AF_Affliction]

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."

She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

******

There are four kinds of sex :

HOUSE SEX - When you are newly married and have sex all over the house in every room.

BEDROOM SEX - After you have been married for a while, you only have sex in the bedroom.

HALL SEX - After you've been married for many, many years you just pass each other in the hall and say "FUCK YOU"

COURTROOM SEX - When your wife and her lawyer fuck you in the divorce court in front of many people for every penny you've got.

[dRagoLjuB]

Icy rofled so hard when i told it him

2 women speak about yesterday
2 asks 1 wut happened
2 muthafukin boring.. My man came home, ate ,  we had some fast sex and we slept.
1 asks 2
It was awesome ...
When we came home we went to an restourent after eating we walked throught the forest , when we came home he light(ed) some candels and we had sex more than an hour

Their 2 men speak about their last night
2 asks 1
It was just awesome , i came home , ate , had some sex and slept
1 asks 2
Mine was mega retarded..
She couldnt cook bcs I forgot to pay the energy (i didnt tell her) so we went to a restourant. She took the most expensive food and bcs of that i hadnt enough money to pa the taxi so we walked theough the forest... After we came home i had to light the candels bcs no energy and than we went to bed and i couldnt  have a boner bcs of the shit what happened

[[kosarkas]]

Icy rofled so hard when i told it him

2 women speak about yesterday
2 asks 1 wut happened
2 muthafukin boring.. My man came home, ate ,  we had some fast sex and we slept.
1 asks 2
It was awesome ...
When we came home we went to an restourent after eating we walked throught the forest , when we came home he light(ed) some candels and we had sex more than an hour

Their 2 men speak about their last night
2 asks 1
It was just awesome , i came home , ate , had some sex and slept
1 asks 2
Mine was mega retarded..
She couldnt cook bcs I forgot to pay the energy (i didnt tell her) so we went to a restourant. She took the most expensive food and bcs of that i hadnt enough money to pa the taxi so we walked theough the forest... After we came home i had to light the candels bcs no energy and than we went to bed and i couldnt  have a boner bcs of the shit what happened

LOL drago that was posted in funny videos and pictures xD trololololo

And btw who makes a restourant in the forest xD