Chuck Norris quotes

[Melissa]

Post here some funny chuck norris quotes :DDD

I ll start :

Zasto Chuck Norris nema ni brata ni sestre ?? Zato sto mu niko nije smio je*at majku !
Why chuck norris had no bros/sisters ? Because no one was allowed to fuck his mother ( it sounds shitty in english :s )
Chuck Norris je obrisao Recycle Bin
Chuck Norris deleted Recycle Bin xDD
Chuck norris je ispekao palacinku na rostilju
Chuck norris baked a pankake on a grill xD
Only Chuck Norris can take REAL MADRID to quarterfinal. XAXXAAXAXAX

btw look at the number XD
CN je brzi i od sekunde, za pola sata
Chuck norris is faster than a second , for one half hour XDDDDD
Dodje CN kod Davida Guette i kaze: kako ti to mislis the world is mine?!
Goes chuck norris to david guetta and asks , who do you mean the world is mine ?xDDDDD
Krenuli Isus, Papa i Chuck Norris da prehodaju rijeku.
Prvi ide Isus i prehoda on rijeku,
drugi ide Chuck Norris i prehoda,
 treći ide Papa i upade u rijeku.Krene Papa drugi put, pomoli se i upade.
 Sad kaže Isus Chuck Norrisu:
-Hoćemoli ga još za***avati ili ćemo mu reči gdje su daske?
 Kaže njemu Chuck:
 -Koje daske?

Goes chuck, pop and jesus to a river
Jesus goes first and walks over the wather
Than comes chuck and walks over the water too
than the pop trys it and he falls into the water
Goes the pop once more and starts to pray and he falls again into the water
Than jesus asks chuck norris , Will we continue with kidding him and tell him where the planks are ?
Chuck norris answers : which planks ? XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
Chuck moze da baci noz u CS-u
Chuck norris can throw a knif in cs xDDDD
AND THE BEST : THE CHUCK NORRIS GAME XDDDDDDDDDD try it

http://www.igre123.net/zabavne-igre/igre-chuck-norris-in-the-videogame-world.php

[End]

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[Melissa]

i translated every chuck norris quote

[End]

i translated every chuck norris quote

Sorry mate I haven't seen.

[DoctaSpock]

i translated every chuck norris quote

Sorry mate I haven't seen.

hahahahaha +1

[Angel]

Chuck Norris can count to infinity twice.

[imbaianced43]

Hahahaha i played now the game rules hahaha

[Angel]

Chuck Norris burns CDs with his teeth

[Mechanik]

Chuck Norris plays DotA on pads...

[DoctaSpock]

chuck norris has awakened alarm

[kingW3]

Chuck Norris can cut World Tree whit quelling blade
Chuck Norris can walk on Fissure.
Chuck Norris absorbs Finger of Death and shoots it out through his big toe.
Chuck Norris has a 100 % chance for multicast. With Aghanims its 200 %.
Chuck Norris can stop Reincarnation by ripping the cross out of the ground and snapping it in half.
Chuck Norris doesn't have Doom. He has Dead!!
Chuck Norris makes his own Sentry wards out of grass, twigs, and index fingers. They have 12000 sight and can see into the next game.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Pudge has three arms.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Leshracs Soul is so Tourmented.
Chuck Norris is neither Hero, Creep nor Ancient.
When Chuck Norris uses BKB he stays the same.
Attacking a unit with Frost Armor makes Chuck Norris move faster.
Chuck Norris can use Helm of the dominator on Enemy Heros
Chuck Norris doesn't visit the Secret Shop. The Secret Shop comes to him.
Chuck Norris comes with a Dagon 50 every game.
Chuck Norris can catch Tinkers Missiles and throw them back.
Chuck Norris gives Atropos Nightmares.
Chuck Norris can outrun Deathpulse and make it hit Necrolyte instead.
Chuck Norris can re-use Consumables.
Chuck Norris doesn't Timewalk. He is already there.
Chuck Norris is NOT an orb effect
Chuck Norris' power treads stack with boots of travel.
Chuck Norris can dominate Roshan.
Chuck Norris made Tiny tiny.
Backdooring was outlawed after Chuck Norris repeatedly destroyed opponents healing fountains.
In older versions of DotA, Chuck Norris farmed wood.
Chuck Norris can break heroes bones, permanently slowing them and reducing their attack speed.
All images run away from Chuck Norris.
Invisibility stacks on Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris demanded that he be a hero in DotA. Icefrog turned him down, meaning that if Norris became a hero, its power would constantly cause the game to crash due to the overload. Icefrog is the only living creature who lived to tell the tale of the day he talked back at Chuck Norris.
6 divine rapiers gives you the Chuck Norris Orb.
Buriza is the name of Chuck Norris' hamster.
Chuck Norris gangs alone.
A public player who once called Chuck Norris a n00b was found dead the next morning, his screen had smashed his face in.
Chuck Norris is immune to your banlist.
Chuck Norris has 7 slots.
Chuck Norris shops in the opponents base.
Chuck Norris doesn't need WTF mode.
Chuck Norris is safelisted everywhere automatically, bots do not wish to make enemies with him.
Chuck Norris' refresher orbs refresh themselves.
If you leave Chuck Norris' game, you won't play DotA... ever again.
Chuck Norris can win DotA alone, without picking a hero
Chuck Norris can posess enemy's courier without them knowing. range is set to total map.
Chuck Norris can alternate his collision size, from lane blocking to zero collision.
Treant's forest watcher eye's will shut down at the sight of chuck norris. Weaver's shade's will turn visible due to fear! Wards are said to change position and hide in forests.
Chuck Norris once threw his sacred relic away. It's damage bonus was not enough.
Chuck Norris is the only one permitted to use godmode, as there is no known command to make him vulnerable!
Ultimate orb turns blue when in chuck norris' hands.
Chuck Norris can manipulate blinkdaggers, being able to reverse enemies blinkdirection. This way he doesn't need to chase down or throw trees as enemies will pop up right next to him.
Ironwood branch gives +100 stats to him. They also stack in his inventory to a total amount of unknown size.
Chuck Norris' blademails will work on ranged opponents to.
Chuck Norris can autospawn power ups.
Chuck Norris can hit tree/throne without killig towers.
Chuck Norris gets gold from each dying creep, even without last-hitting them.
Chuck Norris' splash damage effects the whole map, thats why he always has a
team kill when creeping gnolls in the jungle.
Chuck Norris' bottle is always full.
If cast on Chuck Norris, rhasta's ulti-wards attack rhasta for being blasphemic.
Chuck Norris' inhuman powers drop on death, giving the player who picks 'em up a permanent aegis aura. Too bad he never dies... ever.
Chuck Norris' Tangos dont eat trees, they eat woods.
Chuck Norris can't use the Necronomicons, they would run away in fear!
Chuck Norris can deflect a Laguna Blade on an enemy with his fist!
Someone maphacked on Chuck Norris. His body was never found.
Chuck Norris can dodge assassinate!
Putting a Blink Dagger on Chuck Norris is like putting wheels on a bullet.
Chuck Norris has a 1-hour Chronosphere with 12000 AOE.
Chuck Norris leeches with spell damage.
Chuck Norris base MS ist 521.
Chuck Norris has a blink with 0 sec cd and 12000 range.
Illusions of Chuck Norris deal 100% dam.
Chuck Norris can pick a hero in -ar mode.
Chuck Norris gains gold if the fountain kills a creep.
Chuck Norris gains +50 to all stats every lvlup.
Chuck Norris hates Rikmaru. If he manages to get to lvl 6 before Chuck Norris hunts him down, he has a slight chance to escape from him. Too bad Chuck Norris has truesight.
Chuck Norris pulls Pugde next to him if he gets hooked.
Every time you get double damage Chuck Norris gets triple armor.
Every Hit Chuck Norris does is a lasthit.
Chuck Norris has 100% Evasion.
Chuck Norris can use all Spells with one hotkey.
Chuck Norris gets quantity discount at the secret shop.
After GODLIKE only comes CHUCKLIKE with an amount of 100 kills in a row.
Chuck Norris doesen't need boots of travel. If he wants to be somewhere every enemy unit at that place just teleports to him.
If Chuck Norris types -di and hits enter Warcraft III will throw an exception anytime cause the amount of kills doesen't fit into integer value anymore.
Chuck Norris uses Lone Druids' bear only as Chicken.
Chuck Norris doesen't need Banlist. No one will leave until Chuck Norris allows him to leave - even if game is over.

[Melissa]

its not cool to put 42433 quotes , give us 5-10 (best) because i think no one will read your whole post :s
everyone can google chuck norris and copy everything :p

[joyjoy]

Chuck Norris was born in cottage which built with his own hands.

When ppl go sleep, they look under the bed if theres no ghost, when ghost goes to bed he looks under the bed if theres no Chuck Norris.

There are 264 things in this room that Chuck Norris can use to kill you, including the room itself.
 

[kingW3]

its not cool to put 42433 quotes , give us 5-10 (best) because i think no one will read your whole post :s
everyone can google chuck norris and copy everything :p

i will sort the best when i get my mind back(i'm sleeping now)

[Angel]

There is really a lot of quotes about him...